Baby Kyle Shakespeare

In Loving Memory of our precious baby boy ((((Kyle)))) who was born into my arms on 3rd October 1998 when i should have been 18 wks pregnant...But Kyle had already flown to heaven 1-2 weeks previous...((((Kyle)))) was born at home in Weston Super Mare in Somerset on a warm sunny morning at 7.10am, ((((Kyle)))) has a mummy called Toni a daddy called Martin, 2 sisters Gabrielle and Elle and a brother Kieron.

((((Kyle)))) was taken from us due to Mummy catching and transmiting the parvo virus, i caught this infection from our daughter Gabrielle who'd contracted "slapped cheek" which unless you have an immunity to this virus it can cause miscarriage/stillbirth,.The virus attacks red blood cells in the unborn child and causes anemia...

((((Kyle)))) fought hard to stay with his mummy,daddy and big sister at the time Gabrielle but he couldnt fight any more as he was very tired so (((Kyle))) went to live with the angels...
Mummy misses feeling you kick and play inside her tummy and wishes she and daddy and your brother and sister's could hold you just one more time

((((Kyle)))) our precious angel you will always be loved and so dearly missed, we know you would have been like your brother and sisters playing games, riding your bike,eating chocolate,playing at the park and being a normal little boy,
You will be Forever in our hearts and always on our minds.....
We love and miss you ((((Kyle)))) and always will xxxxx

Kyle's story....

The day my husband and i found out we were expecting a baby, it felt like all our dreams had come true.The year before we'd been told that we were unable to have children together so it seemed a miracle that we had concieved our baby. We're not a rich family so we knew that if we hadn't been able to have our own baby naturally then we wouldn't of been able to afford to have IVF. I already had a daughter from a previous relationship so id already felt the overwhelming feeling of love and protection for my own child so i desperately wanted Martin to experiance the exact same feelings and to have the chance to hold his own child in his arms. I knew he loved Gabrielle like she was his own, he'd been her daddy ever since we first met when she was only 2.1/2 years old and as far as she was concerned he was her daddy and she was his little girl.
So that day when we found out we were having a baby together we were the happiest family in the world.When we told Gabrielle that she was going to have a baby brother or sister she became very excited and started to shout "im going to be a big sister," it was so wonderful to see her face light up, We worked out i was only about six weeks pregnant, but it didn't matter nothing was going to take our joy away from us.Our first antinatal appointment came through we were so excited, the midwife we saw was the same midwife who saw me through my pregnancy with Gabrielle So it was going to be really nice to have her see me through this pregnancy...
The midwife worked out from my dates that i was about 7 weeks pregnant and due the 21st march 1999 we left the midwifes room feeling so happy and excited. The next few weeks passed in a blur of excitment but then the day of my 12 week scan came we were more excited as this was the first time we were going to see our baby, we couldn't wait to get to the hospital we were so excited to get into the scanning room to see our baby.My mum came along with us to look after Gabrielle as she would of got bored with the waiting even though we didnt have to wait long as after about 10 minutes we got called in.My mum and Gabrielle stayed out in the waiting area while we went in
I was told to lay down on the couch and to pull my shirt up the sonographer then squirted the warm liquid onto my tummy and within seconds we saw our baby he or she was very small but perfect with its little heart beating so fast, the sonographer said our baby was moving around so much and that he or she was using my womb as a slide, Martin and i began to cry as we were so happy She did all the usual checks and said everything was fine and confirmed our baby was due around about the 21st march we asked for a scan picture as wanted that day to last forever and to show our family and friends the new addition to our family, i was then told i would be sent out another appointment for my 20 week scan...

The next couple of weeks flew by but when i reached 14-15 weeks Gabrielle came out with a rash on her cheeks and became very poorly we took her to our G.P who diagnosed slapped cheek we had never heard of it before and asked what she could be given.We were told that we just had to keep an eye on her and give her calpol for the pain and just let the infection run its course and which she would then become immune to it he also said i should have a blood test to make sure i hadnt caught it as it could be serious to unborn babies,.
A few days after my blood was taken the blood results came back negative we felt so happy and Gabrielle soon got better but a couple of weeks after Gabrielle's diagnoses i came out in a rash on my upper thighs but didnt think nothing of it as my blood results had come back negative...I reached 17 weeks 5 days pregnant when i started to feel different i coudn't pinpoint what it was other than that i didnt feel right I started to lose alot of discharge which i knew was normal from having Gabrielle, but the colour was a very dark brown and i knew that i'd not had this with Gabrielle. so i told Martin my worrys in which he told me not to worry as everything was fine but to put my mind at rest he would take me to the hospital.
By the time we arrived at the hospital it was in the evening we waited about 20 minutes when we were called in i was lead into a cubicale where i explained my worries to the doctor she told me to lie down and that she would try and listen to the babys heartbeat & examine me.It seemed like hours but was only minutes waiting to hear our babys heartbeat but we didnt hear nothing the doctor said its proburbly because i was only just under 18 weeks and maybe the baby was lying awkwardly so even though all seemed "Ok" she would book me in for a scan the following morning to put my mind at rest.

We arrived at the hospital the following morning feeling scared we got called into the room and i was told to lie down on the couch i explained about the night before and that we didnt get to hear our baby's heartbeat, she then started running the scanner over my tummy i looked up at her face and knew instantly something was wrong and began to cry she said she couldnt find a heartbeat she called her assistant in and asked her to get the consultant i held Martin's hand so tight frightened by what the consultant was going to say but in my heart i knew that our baby had died.The consultant spoke to the sonographer and looked at the scan monitor i looked at Martin and we both knew what he was going to say, but hearing him say our baby had died broke our hearts i looked over at Martin and saw him crying in that moment our happiness had been take away from us, the baby we wanted so much had been taken away from us and we were heartbroken.
We were told that we would have to go upto maternity to see the main gynocologist as being as our baby had died his body would need taking out of me as even though i was 17 weeks 6 days pregnant by the size of our baby they think our baby had died 1-2 weeks before.Hearing all this all i wanted to do was crawl into a little ball and cry forever until someone told me that the sonographer was wrong and that our baby was alive and well and growing but i knew that this wasnt going to happen so i got dressed and Martin and i walked out of the scanning room,as soon as i looked up there sitting was my mum and Gabrielle how on earth was i going to tell our little girl that the baby sister/brother she desperately wanted had died?, how do you tell this to a 5 year old little girl.
My mum saw we were crying and asked what was wrong i grabbed Gabrielle and we both sat down beside my mum but i couldnt speak so Martin found the strength to tell my mum and Gabrielle that our baby had died,Gabrielle started to cry i held her so tightly feeling the same pain, we were told to head up towards gynocology where we would be seen by the doctor who go through with us the what would happen next.
The doctor called us in and explained the procedure of a d&c which he said i would need as even though i was 17 weeks 6 days pregnant our baby was only the size of a 15-16 week baby i rememberd about the virus Gabrielle had caught those few weeks earlier and wondered if that had had anything to do with our baby dying the thought soon went out of my mind when i remembered my results had come back negative.After the doctor explained what would happen i told him i didnt want a d&c that i wanted the chance to hold our baby how ever small our baby was that through this devistation he or she was still our baby.The doctor agreed and said he would book it anyway for the following week and if nothing had happend by then then i would have to have the operation.

That night when we got home i prayed that i wouldnt have to have the D&C and willed our baby to come and that we loved him/her and that we were desperate to finally meet him/her...I ran outside heading towards the beach not knowing what i was going to do all i did know was that our baby had died and i couldnt do anything about it and wanted the pain to stop.Martin came running after me holding me tight we walked back home where we cried together. Later that night i couldnt sleep couldnt stop crying Martin held me tight trying not to upset me more than what i was already but i knew he was hurting too.
I couldnt cope i couldnt cope with this enormous pain feeling the enormous loss of our unborn baby, the precious baby that was going to complete our family. How do you cope knowing the baby you so much wanted had planned for is in your tummy but has died?...I couldn't cope not only with the emotional pain but the physical pain,Martin could see i was struggling and so took me to our local hospital.Once there we were seen by a doctor who expressed his sorrow to us,Martin told him i couldnt settle was not only feeling the emotional pain but the physical pain too so the doctor said he would give me a presciption of sleeping tablets to help me sleep and painkiller to help with the pain i knew that i didnt want to sleep but i knew that the doctor was only trying to help, so i agreed to take them.
We got home and Martin gave me the sleeping pills and 2 paracetamols within 10 minutes id fallen asleep.

I woke up just before 7am feeling wet between my legs,i thought id wet myself so i sat up in bed and looked over at Martin who was still alseep thankgoodness as i didnt want him to have woken up as i felt embarrassed knowing id wet the bed but as i pulled the duvet off me i hadnt wet the bed i was covered in blood i was so scared i stood up and screamed for Martin he immediately woke up and jumped out of bed and stood there looking i could see he was shocked by what he was seeing but told him to go and call an ambulance.
The minute Martin left our bedroom i stood up but suddenly felt this overpowering pressure between my legs i looked down and there lying on the floor was our baby lying peacefully i couldnt believe what i was seeing i knelt down and gently picked our baby up,he/she was so tiny yet so absolutely beautiful,i looked at our baby's little arms legs face eyes everything and even counted all ten fingers and toes our babys eyes were closed but he/she's little mouth was open, our baby just fitted in the palm of my hand he/she was tiny but perfectly formed,he/she looked like a normal baby other than our baby's head was alittle bigger than the body which proved the doctor right who'd said our baby had died 1-2 weeks earlier...
I held our baby until i heard Martin run back into our bedroom i looked up at him and he just started to cry i showed him our baby we both felt so happy as our prayers had come true our baby had been born and i didnt have to have the d&c that we both so dreaded. We stood there together looking at our baby and didnt want that moment to end when suddenly my mum who had been staying with us walked into the room.
I watched my mum walk over to me and look down at her beautiful grandchild she put her arms around us both and started to cry.At that moment i started to feel very hot and faint so i sat down on the floor cradleing our baby until i felt myself starting to faint when my mum took our baby off me and laid him on a little pillow on my bed, at that moment the paramedics arrived they started to treat me and examine me, the one paramedic asked me where the baby was? i pointed to my bed where my little angel was lying,the one paramedic picked up our baby and wrapped him in a blanket and took us both down to the ambulance my mum stayed behind to look after Gabrielle as thankfully she had stayed alseep.
We arrived at the hospital, and i was taken to A&E i kept on asking where our baby was but all we were being told was that the doctors were looking at our baby.I was examined and given oxygen i fainted twice while still in A&E which we later found out was due to the amount of blood id lost. A nurse cleaned me up and spoke to Martin.We must have been in that department for about half an hour when a nurse came up to us and asked if we knew what sex our baby was?,we couldnt believe we didnt think to look to see we were just happy to have met our baby and to hold our baby,she said we'd had a little boy we burst into tears we'd been blessed with a son, We had already chosen baby names our precious baby boy we named Kyle...
Later on i was taken to a ward where i was given a blood transfusion due to the amount of blood i had lost and antibiotics to stop me bleeding too much. While in the hospital we saw Kyle everyday spending all day holding him kissing him and telling him how much we love him,we asked for the hospital priest to come round to say a few words for our baby.
We felt so proud and over come with emotion as really this should have been a celebration of our angel's life not his death but that jesus was accepting Kyle into his arms.I was allowed home a couple of days later which pleased me as id missed Gabrielle so much but so sad as i knew we had to leave kyle behind, I couldnt bare to leave my baby there all alone with no one to hold him close but i had no other choice.Eleven days later Kyle was collected by the undertakers who we'd chosen to help us give Kyle the best funeral.
The day before Kyle's funeral they brought Kyle to our home where we spent the next 24 hours with our baby holding him, telling him how much we love him, how much we adore him how much we were going to miss him it was the best 24 hours ever & a part in our lives we would never forget,We gently laid our precious little boy on a blue silk bed on a yellow woolly blanket that id used on Gabrielle when she was a baby, we surrounded him with family pictures and a picture that Gabrielle had coloured in for her little brother and laid a little blue bunny next to him so he wouldnt be alone.
The next morning the cars arrived to take us to the cemetry Martin carried his little boy with such dignity and love and held him on his lap,we arrived at the cemetry where Martin carried Kyle to the baby garden where Kyle would sleep, the reverend said a few words and a prayer and the song we had chosen was played "Angel all mine" by Eternal as Martin layed his son into the ground, we all gently laid red roses onto Kyle's casket while telling him that we love him so much, i felt my tears falling and the pain i felt in my heart i then looked up at Martin and saw his tears falling and the utter sadness in his eyes as he laid his son down,Gabrielle,my mum and sister and nephew were all crying as we were all said goodbye to Kyle,saying goodbye to our baby was the hardest thing we have ever had to do and that no one should ever have to go through,the pain i saw in Martin and Gabrielle's eyes that day will stay with me forever...

A few weeks after Kyle's funeral we received a letter from my G.P stating that the blood test i had taken a few weeks earlier had in fact come back positive for parvo virus and not negative as as we were told, and this is what had taken our babys life.
The day Kyle grew his wings will be the saddest day of our lives and always will be we miss him so much and always will and we will love him forever.
Sleep with the Angels my baby Mummy,daddy, & your big sister Gabrielle and your younger brother Kieron and sister Elle send you sweet gentle kisses and lots of ((((Cuddles))))xxxxx


════╔══╗Gone But
════║══║Not Forgotten
═╔══╝══╚══╗♥ ♰ ♥ ♰
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═╚══╗══╔══╝
════║══║Put This On Your
════║══║Page If You Know
════║══║Someone Who Is In
════║══║Heaven's Garden.x

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